Self Love: Why are we so hard on ourselves?
It’s summer, it’s bathing suit season, and it’s all around us.
I grew up with it, in a family of 4 daughters. I’ve lived my life with it, as a woman who has lots of women friends. I hear it almost daily, as a nutrition coach.
I’m talking about women complaining about their bodies; shining big, bright lights on their “flaws”, the parts that they hate, or that they wish they could change.
Sometimes, it’s so prevalent, that if it doesn’t happen, it feels like there’s an elephant in the room.
You can actually wait for it.
Put a group of women together, especially in swim suits, no matter what they look like, and they’re compelled to self criticize; before anyone can do it, say it or think it first.
I’m talking about smart, sexy, savvy ladies.
What is that? Is it a way of bonding? Or is it a throw back to when the attractive female would get the strongest male, and the species would survive?
Is this a primal instinct and if so, can we stare it down, smash it to the ground and move on, once and for all?
I’m all for improving your health and your appearance; it supports your well being, gives you more energy, and improves your sense of self. Looking your best can boost your mood and help you make better choices. You know it gives you confidence.
I’m big on lipstick and fabulous shoes, and I love fashion.
That’s not what I’m talking about.
And this isn’t about the need to lose 25 pounds because you’re winded when you run, or removing gluten because you know you’re intolerant to it.
This is negative stuff. I’m talking about unnecessary pile-ons that many women feel they need to do. Self-trash-talk. Put-downs. If your kid said it, you’d stop them.
Here’s a thought. Next time you’re tempted to divulge those things that you can’t change, or that you don’t like, or to complain again that your thighs may never look like Heidi Klums, take a breath. Hold up.
Slap some tape on that ego that’s beating you up internally, and bossin’ you around, and turn tail.
Compliment the sister next to you..
I’ve always admired your feet, you should wear sandles ’til the snows come….
Your hair is unreal, you could sell it for a summer in the Hamptons….
You have the most gorgeous legs, I hope you don’t own any pant suits….
Whatever it is, your lady friends have many things you love and admire.. and the same goes for you.
Today, tell yourself what you’d tell your friend.
Have a green juice and say something fabulous.
And if you really want to be bold, declare it to the world.
Leave a comment below, and tell us what you love about yourself.
I’ll back you up, lady!